At a time when technology provides more opportunities for connection than ever before, many of us are left feeling disconnected.

Living through a global pandemic has obvious isolating effects and many people also find themselves reeling from relationship loss, friendship loss, or experiencing the death of a loved one. The politics of 2020 left many questioning relationships and feeling disconnected from friends, colleagues and family.  Many people facing loss and disconnection find themselves reaching for information in the form of outside influence to fill the void. 

A recent study from Boston University School of Public Health shows that depression rates in the US tripled when the pandemic hit and now they are even worse. The study found that 32.8 percent of US adults experienced elevated depressive symptoms in 2021, compared to 27.8 percent of adults in the early months of the pandemic in 2020, and 8.5 percent before the pandemic. 

In our grief it’s common to reach out for security and information to help us feel safe or in control of our destiny. Many news networks, corporations, politicians, podcast hosts, and even wellness spaces jumped to capitalize on the emotional void that people needed to fill. Talking heads claiming that they have the best information, right way to feel, or quick fix is always a concern, but in 2020 this became more attractive than ever allowing the most charismatic and convincing to create an almost cult-like following. On a near daily basis I meet with someone who has told me they’ve had to “let go” of someone they love. Whether it be a friend who cut them off because they didn’t have the capacity to give, or a loved one who’s beliefs they feel make it impossible to feel safe in the relationship. It seems that in friendships and relationships we are putting a lot of pressure on one another and many people are feeling burnt out. 

In the more than 500 clients I’ve worked with since the start of the pandemic almost everyone reported feeling pushed beyond their capacity and energetically drained. Granted as a psychic medium I am not usually meeting with someone on their best day. Most people seek my services to heal from grief or receive life guidance when facing loss or other challenges. And what about my colleagues and other healers? I don’t think I know anyone in this work that doesn’t freely admit that the last two years have been full of loss, grief and it is a balancing act to keep up with work and relationships.

So while it’s normal to want to turn to one another or other outside sources for comfort and reassurance. Turning inward is one valuable skill that I’ve tried to help many develop and stick with. Teaching intuitive development, mediumship classes and publishing a book during the last few years has shown me that putting more trust on our intuition is a real way to find comfort in these times.  

Starting to connect inwards and listen to intuition can be challenging when we have our nervous systems in overdrive—having witnessed nationally televised war crimes, systematic oppression and the effects of an unstable health care system with our morning coffee we might instead find ourselves walking around in a constant state of disconnect.

When the primary feelings in our bodies are fear, exhaustion, and overwhelm it can be difficult to have a conscious awareness of our intuition. The thing I want people to know is that whether or not we work with it, or intuition is always with us.  

So what can we do? When everything feels wrong, let's start by focusing on what feels true. 

We might not always like the answer, but our intuition will guide us and direct us towards what is true. Imagine you’ve just met someone and instantly you get a feeling that they are being disingenuous. Then, they make uncomfortable eye contact with you and ask you to take out your wallet and give them access to all your credit cards. Did you feel a physical reaction when you read that last sentence? Maybe you even laughed at the idea, of course you wouldn’t hand over your cash to a stranger you feel is not trustworthy. And that feeling you got is hard to ignore. Now imagine that this person tells you they’ve got the answer to all of your problems, maybe they have a system to help your business some google SEO strategy that has helped others make six figures a month, or they have the only answer to meeting the right partner, or access to a social network when you are craving connection, they can help you get in shape or loose weight and the results will be immediate. Are you questioning the feeling of distrust yet? Now imagine that some of the people you trust and respect believe in this person…maybe you should give them a chance? For the final manipulation this person tells you that the reason you don’t trust them is because you are doubting yourself, you don’t believe in yourself enough. They mix in just enough truth to confuse your senses and draw you in. 

Here’s the thing…that feeling of mistrust you had in your body when you first met is not going to go away. It will keep presenting itself to you at every opportunity and you’ll have to work really hard to ignore it. You might even have to regularly dismiss and push past lots of other emotions further invalidating your intuition. For some people this becomes a way of life.

We are always being influenced and while it’s not always harmful or dangerous on every level, it can be problematic if we don’t recognize it. Some examples of this are diet culture, toxic positivity, political cults, or multi level marketing schemes. Often members of these groups are forced to double down on the culture because they feel like there is no way out. Many even blame themselves when the quick fix doesn’t work and for some it can take years to break away because the feeling of wanting to belong or finally feel better is so powerful. 

To learn more about cult mindset or further reading to understand mind control and undue influence click here for articles by Steven Hassan, Ph.D., a cult and undue influence expert who has been working in the field of relationship, group, and political cults for more than 40 years.

Your Intuition will always be there for you. 

When you learn how to connect inwards, your own desires will be clear. Your intuition will hold you with love, clarity, and reassurance that deep within you know what you want. While it may not provide all of the hows and whys it will show you the way. Starting to act on your own desires and not those of others can quite literally bring you into the light. You can feel less burdened by the judgments of others and at the same time begin attracting new people into your life that are in alignment with you. 

If you’re unsure of how you feel about a person or situation try this: take a few moments to sit and notice your breathing. This can give you clarity of mind as well as help to relax your physical body. Now bring to mind the relationship or situation that you’re questioning. Notice how you feel in your body. Do you feel excited, expansive, supported and like you can be your true self? Notice if you feel confused, suppressed, dread, or discomfort. 

This feelings wheel below can be a great tool in identifying your feelings:

One way to stay connected to your intuition on a regular basis is to practice connecting inwards until it becomes automatic for you.  

Try this exercise to begin connecting to your intuition on a regular basis: 

• Take a moment to find a quiet place where you won't be interrupted. 
• If you’d like, have a notebook or journal and something to write with. 
• Set your intention to connect to your intuition.  
• Take a few slow, gentle breaths and notice how your body starts to relax. As you inhale, let your belly expand in front of you, and as you exhale imagine releasing tension or stress. Trust that your breath will expand your awareness of yourself and consciousness. Repeat this process a few times allowing your breath to fall into its own natural rhythm. 
• To relax your body further, start scanning your body from the top of your head down to your toes, noticing any places of tension. As you exhale, allow those places to release. Start to notice how when your body is relaxed it is easier for your mind to relax.
• You might begin noticing your thoughts coming in and out. It is impossible to have a blank mind. Let your thoughts go by like clouds in the sky. You start to become aware of the separateness of your thoughts. Realize that you are not your thoughts, you are the awareness and consciousness behind your thoughts.
• Start to become aware of your true nature, your soul, the eternal part of you that is aligned with your highest good, your inner wisdom. You’ll notice that the more you pay attention to this feeling, the bigger it will become. 
• Notice where in your body you feel your intuition. Some people feel their intuition in their heart center, and some people feel it in their solar plexus. Some people imagine their intuition as a bright light or a color. There is no right or wrong. Simply allow yourself to feel what your intuitive self is for you. 
• Using your imagination, see your intuition—the spiritual you. With every exhale, this energy becomes bigger filling every fiber of your being. Notice how this light, this color, this power that is all loving, becomes brighter and brighter. Allow it to fill the space in the room around you, expanding beyond and beyond.  
• Take a moment to feel into the qualities of you, who you truly are. Notice what your energy feels like without agenda or expectation. Imagine how those in the Spirit World see you—this bright light, the color, the essence of you. Take a few moments to notice any sensations in your body, any emotions that come over you. Simply notice without judgment. Trust that this connection with yourself is always available to you and that you can return to this. 
• Journal about your experience.

Read More How to breathe: a bridge towards your intuition

Check out my book Uncovering Intuition: Guidance, Inspiration, and Exercises to Unlock Your Inner Wisdom